Wednesday, February 25, 2015

How did I get here?

How did I get here? That question was running over and over through my head during the first two weeks of my imprisonment. The right to follow answer have always been the same: by airplane and by car.

It makes me sad to realize I actually paid for flying here. Sure I couldn't expect to get arrested only two days before my scheduled flight back, yet, I paid for getting here and now I'm locked in a federal detention facility.

My arrest was so much like a movie, that for days after I imagined all kind of surreal stuff: like maybe I purchased an extreme prison-like vacation; like every time the phone rang at the CO's office, is to inform of my immediate release; almost every buzz at the cellblock door made my mind jump in anticipation - maybe they came to fix the mistake and set me free!

The hardest part is being locked up. I'm now sure not only it has a long time effect, but also can make the mind go crazy, literally. As for myself, I did feel my mind, conciseness and soul, melting away, turning to liquid, washing out of my entire body, off my head. It gets so intense that I felt my will power and mind slowly draining away. At times, I cared about nothing no more. I was ready to give up and end it all.


The HMI agents arrested me, were nothing like in the movies. They were NOT bold and fearless, and couldn't make a role model to about nothing. They were extremely polite and quiet. They threatened me in a low, respectful tone. They looked right in my eyes when they lied to me. They manipulated me, abused me with smooth talking and well mannered behavior. They were a lot like the psychopath Dr. at the mental health institution, that when he smiles, it's the worst sign.

They had an easy one with me: 42 years old, no criminal record, pulled out of the hotel room bed in  a foreign country, having the flu and dead tired. I would have confessed about having a sister or anything else. And they violated my other rights as well.

Problem is, that in the country of "Freedom and justice for all", the biggest democracy in the world, there are rules for the rules, all set by the federal government system. Once that system begins to chew someone up, he's doomed. one way or another he will never just come out clean. Never.

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