FREE time

Suddenly it struck me: I have more free time in prison than anywhere else; in fact, all my time is FREE, an awkward concept cause I'm actually locked with limited communication to the other world. My worlds concludes to a 10sq/m cell, inside a 400 sq/m hall, and yet, I have nothing to do, no chores, no errands, no noting, senior!
Yes, I know, that's because my dear, precious, beloved friend turned their life over for me, dealing all my stuff and some. I'm sorry about that, really am. I wish it never happened. I wish your standing by me could always remain theoretically speaking.
Yet, that weird concept still remains; I'm free of anything and everything.
That perception actually came to my mind when I suddenly noticed I'm doing everything I can to make ordinary tasks, like, taking a shower, time consuming. Only here I came to spend 90 minutes, undressing, going to shower, and dressing back. Yep, 90 minutes. With sooo much free time and NOTING to do, even fixing a burrito gets to half an hour.
What reminds me that I now find the black HEV'RE to be the cool ones. They kind of like the MIZRAHIM in Israel. Many of them got banged up by the system; they suffer of pure racism; they are more open and warm and welcoming than gringos (gringo is how Mexicans nickname white americans, and no, it's not a complement).
So I'm hanging out (out? seriously?), with them. It gets surreal to have late diner sitting with a bunch of them; one Jerusalem white boy (YELED TOV YERUSHLAYIM), with a bunch of those guys, all in for robbery, assault charges, drugs, etc.
All that said, it's not like they are ALL that nice; many of them are indeed nice. Others... I'm keeping my (long) distance.

Please write me something nice, about anything. I miss you all and I really need your words. D believes her "about nothing" emails are boring, but they are not, every email makes me feel more alive in Koffeeville.

Missing you all

My inmate - Nader Ali Sabouri Haghighi, 41.

"An Iranian man was sentenced by a Texas court Monday to more than two years in prison for stealing the identity of a US pilot in order to obtain federal aviation credentials.

Nader Ali Sabouri Haghighi, 41, pleaded guilty in November to four counts of identity theft related to his attempt to obtain an Airline Transport Pilot (ATP) and flight instructor certificate.

The Justice Department statement said there was no evidence Haghighi had sought the flying permits for “terrorism-related” activity.

Haghighi’s fraud came to light after he crashed a plane in Bornholm, Denmark in September 2012 while in possession of his victim’s ATP, the highest level of aircraft pilot license issued by the Federal Aviation Administration.

He later returned to Iran before resurfacing in Indonesia. He was eventually arrested in Panama, where he waived extradition to the United States in August 2014."

Nothing but 2 choices

they told me it's hard to believe it's my 1st time in prison. That I've adapted so fast and naturally, it's like I've been locked up before. One told me, "I saw you sitting in one cell with a guy known to murder at least two people, fooling around, laughing with him, eating together, no way you're new to this". What can I say? Every time the subject came up, I told them, that I quickly realized I have : slit my wrists or bear my burden. The 1st is not really an option, as I owe so much to those who stand by me at this time, I just cannot let them down (that's one reason, there are more, naturally).
So I'm stuck with going through this.
The day before yesterday brought here two new black guys. Armed robbery and stuff. Both around 30 years old. One got sentenced 30 years. The other... 160 years. No parole. Think he will walk out some day?
Final note for now: google NADER. It's a guy in the other unit, I got friendly with, a really nice person, for real. He's a pilot from Panama, I believe you'll find his story interesting. I have more to come...

Walking and talking

An anecdote to begin with: on my second court session, the us marshals attempted delivering me to another facility named "joe corley". Only by chance I managed to explain my religious needs won't be met there. They were upset, for the "extra hard tedious work" I caused, but they aren't allowed to play with religion affairs. So I've been delivered back to fdc.
The corley BE'YUV is a fantastic place to host in: 12 inmates each cell, one toilet, one shower. Feed in cell. 23 hours locked. 1 hour out. No email. Phone calls by a special written request. Violent, anti Semitic population (I met a Jewish guy got beaten there by muslims).
Where is that ignorant, zero, less than a worm embassy guy said I should be thankful it's not Thailand?

Well, the Kofiya consists of one big open space hall, about 40 by 10 meters, divided in two floors, the upper floor ("tier") has an open walkway-balcony running round the perimeter, where the cells, showers and other rooms are located. In the main lower space, there are two fixed long tables with fixed "chairs" (just a small round plate). Public phones and computers are also there, and 5 TV sets, showing a few preset channels.Oh, there is an "outside recreation" area, partially open to the out side, so you can get a look of two high office buildings (it is in downtown area) and some sky.

Most inmates here are Mexican and other South America Latinos. Almost all of them arrested for illegal entry. In many cases, all they wanted is a decent job, away from poor Mexico beaten with cartels, drugs and violence. The other inmates.. well, each carries his own burden.

A couple of days ago I won a free (random) alcohol and drug test. Taken to a room with a desk, big fat guy in uniform and a toilet, I had to breath in a YANSHUF, then pee in a cup. After 10 minutes of standing in the hallway facing the wall, the big whale called me back in the room and asked what I've been smoking. That's his way of fooling around during his boring job. So I cooperated, and we both laughed; it was really soooo funny. Then he instructed me to pour my pee in the toilet and throw the cup. Sweet.
Arriving back in the unit, guys asked me if I got a prostate exam. Again, didn't want to let them down, so I told them I requested for that check, only there was no female nurse to perform it. They found my answer hilarious.
Yes, many inmates here are bored to a level of making stuff like tapping one's shoulder, then quickly move the other side. Or sticking written "funny" notes to other's back. Lots of KITA GIMEL jokes. Just imagine how they react when there is a bikini girl on TV.

The cellblock is an extremely cheerful place, painted white, grey and black. The lights are kind of dim, I guess that's for maintaining a low, calm atmosphere. It is really, very clean here. The floors swept three times a day, inmates required to clean the cells, or "buy" cleaning service from another poor inmate for 4 packages of soup purchased at the KANTINA. That's one us dollar, and they clean the cell really good. Those "soups", small packets of dry pasta, kind of P'TITIM, with a small bag of seasoning, sell for .25 each, and used as currency here. You can buy anything the inmates sell with those soups.   

Well, I have to go for now, time for my daily workout routine, walking in endless circles round the upper level, each round is about 100 meter. Almost everybody do that here, walking and talking about their life in Koffeeville.

Stronger and have got off the edge

I really hope we could sit and laugh about this really soon. I don't see the light yet, but at least I'm stronger and have got off the edge. I think I didn't cry for more than two consecutive days. What a fckn mess.

I apologize

I did suddenly find that instead of emailing nice stuff, all I'm doing is stressing more the stressed enough; so I apologize, it was a build up of frustration and anger, I know perfectly well that nm and u doing the outmost anything for me, and I'm grateful. being here has it's toll and I have to actually fight it to hold from going out.

Food parties

So I'm making jokes here with people that could make you move to the other side of the street. They make food parties, with burritos and cakes and drinks. I'm invited of course. Hey, I'm one of the popular kids here. my Spanish is getting better, I catch more new words every day; actually I hear more Spanish then English here. The English is NOT easy to get; when they talk fast... all I can get is F*** or SH** every other sentence. The Gangs here are like zofim for grown-ups. Everything is about respect. Inmates will actually fight and go to the SHU, just for *respect*. I can tell you it's like in the movies, a hundred times won't be enough to describe how much of a movie that is. This place IS another planet. The KOFIYA planet.
Don't get it wrong, I'm dying to get out of here, I hate waking up and I hate the sound of the door bolted. Yet, it's more than amazing how people just go on here, for months and YEARS, they keep hanging on, they have social life, they watch TV, eat together, laugh together, it's a whole small-locked-up world. Some people here told me that when I first arrived I looked lost. I can even remember two guards asking me if I'm "ok". I looked soooo bad, even they cared. Now, I've been told, I look like it's my natural habitat. Well, it's not, but in here, it's all about respect and phasade. I'm actually hanging with the hardcore, the "tough" boys, and I'm helping others, that helped me when I arrived. If you could only take a minute to think about it, it's crazy. Today I wrote a "request to staff" for another inmate who only speak Spanish; yes, your Jerusalem friend is well respected here, and respect others, naturally. It's time to get back in our cells, "home" they call them here. My cell partner my "celli", speaks only Spanish and a few words in English. So when he only talks Spanish to me, I answer in Hebrew.
Another night, another day in KOFFEEVILLE, monkey-town, the KOFIYA. BTW, I tell others here my theory, how the government tries to make all of us more animal like and less humans. They find it funny, and actually agree with me.
Just help me get back home, I promise you'll hear so many jokes and stories, it may come to the point you all be happy I've been here. Not.